I'm Not Doing That-Rent A Responsible Human Instead

About

I’m Not Doing That — Rent a Responsible Human Instead is a bold, humorous, and wildly practical personal‑assistance service for people who are done doing the things they don’t want to do. We step in with professionalism, confidence, and a touch of mythic authority to handle the tasks, errands, conversations, and responsibilities you’d rather avoid. From everyday annoyances to socially awkward obligations, your rented Responsible Human shows up, handles it, and restores your peace. It’s simple: you don’t want to do it — we will. Responsibly. Reliably. Without the drama.

Policy and Terms

Clients can cancel or reschedule appointments up to 24 hours before start time.

Contact

Hours

Sunday

12:00 AM - 12:00 PM

Monday

12:00 AM - 12:00 PM

Tuesday

12:00 AM - 12:00 PM

Wednesday

12:00 AM - 12:00 PM

Thursday

12:00 AM - 12:00 PM

Friday

12:00 AM - 12:00 PM

Saturday

12:00 AM - 12:00 PM

All services

“I’m Not Leaving the House Today”

🚗 The “I’m Not Leaving the House Today” Mobile Assist You stay cozy. I’ll be the outside human. - Curbside pickups - Car drop-off/pick-up for service - Quick local deliveries - Checking on a property or pet (non-care tasks) Etc.

30 min | Price varies

"I Don't Feel Like It"

📦 The “I Don’t Feel Like It” Errands You stay home. I’ll handle the world. - Grocery pickups - Package drop-offs/returns - Pharmacy runs - Donation drop-offs - Waiting in line (DMV, events, releases) - Delivery waiting (cable, furniture, repair techs)

30 min | Price varies

"Absolutely Not"

🧹 The “Absolutely Not” Chores For the tasks that make people say “nope.” - Fridge clean-outs - Trash & recycling runs - Laundry folding - Dish rescue missions - Tidying small spaces Etc.

1 h | Price varies

“I’m Really Not Doing That”

🔥 Premium: The “I’m Really Not Doing That” Package For the tasks that require extra time, patience, or emotional labor. - Deep decluttering sessions - Multi-stop errand runs - Full-day “responsible human” hire - Crisis organization (non-emergency) - Move-out/move-in prep Etc.

1 h | Price varies

“Shopping Is a Chore”

🛍️ The “Shopping Is a Chore” Assistance You don’t have to step foot in a store. - In-store shopping on your behalf - Curbside pickups - Return/exchange missions - Gift shopping - Grocery restock runs

1 h | Price varies

“Event Avoidance”

🎉 The “Event Avoidance” Support You don’t want to deal with it — I will. - Party prep cleanup - Post-event reset - Picking up supplies - Dropping off decorations - Coordinating small details Etc.

1 h | Price varies

“Random Life Stuff”

🧩 The “Random Life Stuff” Category Everything that doesn’t fit anywhere else. - Finding lost items - Helping you rearrange a room - Taking photos of items to sell - Posting items online (non-negotiation) - Helping you pack or unpack small moves - Seasonal clothing swap organization

1 h | Price varies

“Can You Just Handle This”

🧰 The “Can You Just Handle This” Home Help Light, non-specialized tasks that make life easier. - Small item assembly - Light organizing - Swapping batteries, bulbs, filters - Setting up simple tech - Seasonal prep (porch, patio, plants) Etc

30 min | Price varies

“Why Is Adulting So Hard”

🗂️ The “Why Is Adulting So Hard” Admin Help For the mental load you refuse to carry. - Organizing paperwork - Sorting mail - Making simple calls - Scheduling appointments - Basic digital decluttering - Form-filling assistance Etc.

30 min | Price varies

“Proxy Human”

🎭 The “Proxy Human” Roleplay Services You hire me to be the version of you that gets things done. - Attending something you don’t want to - Asking for information in person - Handling awkward exchanges - Being the “responsible adult” in a scenario Etc.

1 h | Price varies

“My Brain Checked Out”

🧠 The “My Brain Checked Out” Mental Load Relief For when your executive function has left the chat. - Breaking big tasks into small steps - Creating simple to-do lists - Accountability check-ins - Helping you start a task you’ve been avoiding - Sitting with you while you declutter or organize Etc.

30 min | Price varies

“I’m Not Preparing for That Trip”

🧳 The “I’m Not Preparing for That Trip” Travel Assist You focus on the fun. I’ll handle the prep. - Packing checklist creation - Travel-size toiletry prep - Organizing travel documents - Airport drop-off/pick-up coordination - House prep before leaving Etc.

1 h | Price varies

“Home Reset”

🏠 The “Home Reset” Micro-Makeovers Small shifts that make your space feel livable again. - Entryway reset - Bathroom refresh - Bedroom vibe reset - Kitchen counter declutter - Seasonal décor swap - Mini feng-shui adjustments (non-professional) Etc.

1 h | Price varies

“Pet Parent Assist”

🐾 The “Pet Parent Assist” Tasks Not pet care — just the annoying parts. - Pet mess cleanups (non-hazardous) Litter box refresh - Pet supply runs - Cleaning pet areas - Organizing pet items - Picking up pet prescriptions Etc.

30 min | Price varies

“I Don’t Want To Deal With Them”

😬 The “I Don’t Want To Deal With Them” Social Tasks Hire me to be the responsible human in the situation. - Returning items you’re too shy to confront - Asking clarifying questions - Asking awkward questions - Getting information you don’t want to ask for - Negotiating prices - Delivering polite-but-firm messages - Being the “bad guy” when needed - Third-party mediation for small conflicts - Calling customer service - Requesting refunds or credits - Handling polite complaints Etc.

1 h | Price varies